Pygméar er ganske enkelt ei gruppe av menneske med eitt framtredande karaktertrekk, høgda. Å verte kalla pygmé er altså verken meir eller mindre skjemmande enn det er å verte kalla Trønder, Austlending eller Same – og ein god del mindre skjemmande enn å bli kalla Hallingdøl.

I 1906 var det noko meir stigmatiserande å vere pygmé. I alle fall i den “vestlege” verda og særskilt for Ota Benga.

Benga var ein Batwa-pygmé som var så heldig/uheldig å overleve då Force Publique-hæren til ramgalne Kong Leopold II av Belgia slakta ned heile landsbyen hans. Sjølv vart han teken til fange og selt som slave på marknaden.

Ota Benga vart kjøpt av den amerikanske misjonæren (!) og eventyraren Samuel Verner. Verner var i Afrika for å kjøpe pygméar til Verdsutstillinga i St. Louis, som også betalte reise, kostgodtgjersle, kaffi- og bruspengar, telefonutgifter og formodentleg også eventuelle pygméar. Saman med sju andre pygméar vart Benga frakta til USA der Verner turnerte med han i fleire månader – inntil han fekk høve til å busetje seg, eller snarare vart parkert, i Bronx Zoologiske hage.

I zoo fekk Benga vandre “fritt” og hjalp til med å mate dyra. Han nytta mellom anna ein del tid i den delen av zoo som heitte “the Monkey House”, Apehuset. Dette vart han oppmuntra til av staben ved zoo, som føreslo at han kunne plassere hengekøya si hjå apane. Dei fekk han óg til å skyte med pil og boge på ein blink der inne. 8. September 1906 kunne besøkande for fyrste gong sjå han og snart kom eit skilt på plass:

The African Pigmy, “Ota Benga.”
Age, 23 years. Height, 4 feet 11 inches. Weight, 103 pounds.
Brought from the Kasai River, Congo Free State,
South Central Africa, by Dr. Samuel P. Verner.
Exhibited each afternoon during September.

Det var underlege greier dei fann på for 100 år sidan, men enno underlegare er det at nokon i 2007 gjer det same.

* * *

Under den pan-Afrikanske FESPAM-festivalen som vart arrangert i tidsrommet 8.-14. Juli i Brazzaville (i den Demokratiske Republikken Kongo) vart ei gruppe pygmémusikarar innlosjert i zoologisk hage. Arrangørane forklarte at dei berre ville gje pygméane eit losji dei kunne dra kjensel på og trivast i – etter den standarden dei var vane med: i nærleiken av rennande vatn i utkanten av eit skogområde.

Alle dei andre deltakarane på festivalen vart imidlertid innlosjerte på hotell. I samsvar med den standarden DEI var vane med må eg tru.

No kan det godt hende det var rett at pygmémusikarane ville trivast betre i skogen enn dei ville ha gjort på eit hotell. Men det kunne dei få lov til å finne utav sjølve. Det er eit herleg uttrykk arroganse når vi ikkje vil “øydeleggje” folk ved å eksponere dei for vårt eige samfunn. Vi trur det er umogleg for ein pygmé å snu seg, puste letta ut og luffe innatt i skogen etter å ha sett alt det flotte vi har føre oss i “siviliserte” samfunn.

Sjølv eg, som er oppvaksen i ein komfortabel, romsleg og moderne heim i Noreg, har lege på hotell i London som har fått meg til å tenkje grundig gjennom om eit pygmétilvære ikkje ville vere å føretrekkje. – I alle fall ville det vere å føretrekkje å vere pygmé – og ikkje 2 meter lang- om ein skulle bu mykje på hotell i London.

* * *

Ota Benga døydde ikkje i Apehuset. Etter ei tid vart han vanskeleg å ha med å gjere og byrja mellom anna å truge vitjande i zoo med kniv. Dette vart ikkje populært hjå publikum. Presten James H. Gordon hadde også protestert mot måten Benga vart framsynt på. Han såg til at Benga vart flytta til ein heim for farga foreldrelause born som Gordon dreiv sjølv. Seinare vart han flytt vidare til Lynchburg i Virginia.

Benga hadde, som vanen var der han kom frå, fila tenne sine spisse, men no vart han ustryrt med hetter på tennene som skulle gjere han mindre iaugefallande. Han vart også utstyrt med “vestleg” bunad og vart visuelt “sivilisert” på alle vis.

Fyrst freista dei å få han til å gå på skule – det låg ikkje for han – sidan fekk han seg arbeid i tobakksindustrien, men Amerika var ikkje for Benga. Han treivst betre med pil og boge i skogane enn han gjorde med skjorte, bukser og “tannhetter” i byen. Saknet til Afrika var stort men redsla for på nytt å bli seld som slave og kostnaden med sjøreisa gjorde til at Ota Benga aldri kom attende til Afrika. Formodentleg hadde ikkje folka bak Verdsutstillinga i St. Louis same interesse for returbilletten som dei hadde for utreisa.

20. Mars 1916, 32 år gamal – like gamal som eg er idag – laga Benga seg eit bål, pirka av “tannhettene” sine og dansa ein rituell dans før han skaut seg sjølv i hjarta med ein pistol han hadde stole.

“Otto Bingo” stod det på daudsattesten hans. Og slik enda soga om Ota Benga.

Kjelder: BoingBoing 15.07.2007, Wikipedia “Ota Benga”, ABC Nyheter “Ota Benga – mannen i buret”.

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”

3. Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”

4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

…

For the full list check out how to tick people off.

The Clothes Drier consists of a vertical cylinder mounted on a tripod with an electrical oven about fifty centimeters above the floor. On top of the cylinder there are several horizontal arms for clothes hangers extending from the cylinder. The cylinder above the oven rotates.

The air stream caused by the rotation combined with the heat from the oven below speeds up the drying process.

While this may well work, I am considerably more worried by the label on the package saying ‘powerful 8 000 rpm motor’.

Sounds like lift-off, a fire accident and a severe test of your insurance company’s waiver policy all in one. Almost like a Kinder surprise.

Vacuum cleaning might have been fun had I been in possession of one of these when I was little. Nowadays I am more uncertain as to whether this is the ultimate solution to vacuuming!

The thought of doing so never occured to me in the first place, but if people would want to put money in my post box I wouldn’t stop them. On the contrary, I would encourage them to do so as often as they like!

The reason for the exotic warning is the way certain taxes are paid in Ireland. Instead of receiving an invoice in the mail e.g. motorists have to show up at a counter in the county hall to pay car tax on their own initiative!

The concept would be to intercept the food after it leaves the mouth but before it arrives where it is digested. Ideas to the same effect, such as vomiting after eating is uncomfortable and impractical. The method I propose however, would be plug-and-play.

The method requires slight customization of the human organism, which is quite doable. I envisage a discrete, neutral looking socket mounted on a persons throat. To this socket it is possible to connect a suction device, in principle much like a vacuum cleaner only silent and small. The mechanism, when powered on, will be activated once the person swallows food and will remove all matter before it reaches the stomach. This way substances like sugar, salt, fat and their relatives will never be metabolized.

Another alternative to minding your diet, the one I am currently pursuing, is simply not to. This does however have the side effect that I eat a lot.

In 1936, while excavating ruins of a 2000-year-old village near Baghdad, workers discovered mysterious small vase. A 6-inch-high pot of bright yellow clay dating back two millennia contained a cylinder of sheet-copper 5 inches by 1.5 inches. The edge of the copper cylinder was soldered with a 60-40 lead-tin alloy comparable to today’s solder. The bottom of the cylinder was capped with a crimped-in copper disk and sealed with bitumen or asphalt. Another insulating layer of asphalt sealed the top and also held in place an iron rod suspended into the center of the copper cylinder. The rod showed evidence of having been corroded with an acidic agent.

…

German archaeologist , Wilhelm Konig, examined the object and came to a surprising conclusion that the clay pot was nothing less than an ancient electric battery.

How did this highly useful technology stay hidden for 2000 years or more? What would have been the consequence of man being able to harness electricity back then? I find the question intriguing!

Det Dokk Holm er bekymra for er at det ikkje er rom for menneske som ikkje fell innunder A4-definisjonen i Sogndal. Valet av eksempel er kanskje ikkje det beste ettersom desse tre gruppene utgjer rimeleg små avvik frå gjennomsnittleg levemåte i Januar 2007.

Elles må eg også få seie meg sterkt usamd med Dokk Holm. Etter å ha budd i Sogndal i over 10 år no kan eg berre konstantere at talet A3-, B5- og C4-menneske er større her enn nokon annan stad. Om ein skipa ut avvikarane frå denne bygda vart det ikkje mange att her. Heller ikkje underteikna, sjølv om eg til dags dato ikkje fell innunder nokon av kategoriane til Dokk Holm – om eg då ikkje kan sjåast på som ein slags innvandrar frå Gloppen!

What is tooth ache really?!

Tooth ache usually results from systematic neglect of basic dental hygiene, more often than not in combination with ignorance of the need for periodical visits to the dentist. A tooth is a simple device for grinding/chewing food into smaller, easily digestable pieces. However simple a tooth is, it is equipped with an internal nerve seemingly without any purpose whatsoever except amplifying pain.

It is this nerve that usually – and in my case right now – cause the chilling, stinging pain that protrudes from somewhere in the vicinity of the painful tooth. The nerve can be provoked by several means; cavities, broken teeth, something stuck between two teeth etc.

Below I have collected some striking texts from people who are sure to have felt the effect of tooth ache:

How to Enjoy Tooth-Ache
DENTAL REGISTER OF THE WEST, APRIL 1864:18(4):182.

— To enjoy this delectable pain to its fullest extent, you should have it in all its glory for a week. Let the pain permeate and insinuate into every portion of the diseased member, racing, jumping and springing around generally like rats in a corn-crib; let it ache till you can’t tell whether the pain is in your mouth, on the top of your head, or in your cravat, but rather think it is all around there; let it ache until you feel like it would be a great relief to hold your head up by the ears, and shake out every molar, incisor, grinder and acher in it; let it ache until you are doubtful whether you stand in the position assigned you, or with your heels in the air; let it ache until you seriously believe every bone, nerve and muscle about your body is full of teeth, and that every tooth is aching on its own hook, and then, when you feel like you have enough pain in your individual mouth to fit out a hospital — when you feel like kicking yourself down stairs — when you are exceedingly anxious to break your neck — then, we repeat, you will begin to realize the tooth-ache. — Western Home Press.

Tooth-ache interestingly enough triggers poetry in some:

The Toothless Genius
The Toothless Genius. The British Dental Journal, 26(14) 1905:687-88. The British Dental Association.

I cannot earn much of a living,
Though why I could never make out.
That this headpiece of mine holds an intellect fine
Is established beyond any doubt.

My lack of all cranial adornment
Denotes a big brain underneath,
And if vanishing hair doesn’t clinch the affair,
Just look at my absence of teeth!

Some people wear teeth artificial,
Which cost them exorbitant sums,
But I am not the sort such impostures to sport,
I am awfully proud of my gums.

As bare as the trees in December
My mouth shall forever remain,
That the people I meet may exclaim in the street,
‘Ah, there goes a man with a brain !’

I may not quite rival Lord Kelvin,
I haven’t yet mastered the dodge
Of propounding the claim of a Rayleigh to fame,
Or of even an Oliver Lodge.

But I know that my intellect’s mighty,
Despite what my rivals have said,
For however they try they can never deny
That I haven?t a tooth in my head.

RUGBY FAN CUTS OFF OWN TESTICLES

A WELSH rugby fan chopped off his testicles after his country’s epic victory over England.

Geoff Huish, 26, was so convinced England would triumph he told friends at a social club: “If Wales win I’ll cut my balls off.”

They thought he was joking but he went home after the match, severed them with a knife and returned to show his mates what he had done.

Staff dialled 999 and put the testicles in a pint glass filled with ice cubes.

Geoff was “seriously ill” in hospital yesterday with his family at his bedside.

He will need cosmetic surgery and may be given a prosthetic scrotum.

Another fan who was with Geoff at Leigh Social Club in Caerphilly, Mid Glamorgan, said: “He came back later wearing a kilt with his testicles in a bag.

“He lifted the kilt up to show everyone what he had done. There was blood everywhere, it was terrible. That’s when he collapsed.”

Another club-goer said: “We’re all in a state of shock, no one can believe what happened. He must have been in terrific pain.

“It was amazing he could walk the 200 yards from his house back to the club.”

Police said Geoff had a history of mental problems.

“The incident is closed as far as we are concerned,” a spokeswoman added.

A family member said: “Geoff’s had his problems in the past but has been on medication. We’re just grateful he will live.”

Dr Ian Banks, of the Men’s Health Forum said: “This is a horrific injury. There are so many veins down there, I’m surprised he didn’t bleed to death.”

In Saturday’s game, Gavin Henson kicked a late penalty to give Wales an 11-9 victory – their first win over England at Cardiff for 12 years.
[ (Stein) Runar Bergheim, 1 . 2.Mon, ]