Ballykissangel

English catholic priest misplaced in picturesque Irish village. Dark haired temptress running local pub. Interesting characters and nice scenery.

Monarch of the Glen

Son turned urban returns to mismanaged highland estate to succeed father as laird. Colorful characters and beautiful landscapes. Based on the equally colorful Compton Mackenzie’s Highland novels.

LOST

City slickers with intriguingly interwoven pasts find themselves stranded on mysterious island with hostile natives and super natural phenomenae.

Ugly Betty

Regular girl, not entirely complying with fashion industry standards when it comes to looks, gets job with famed fashion magazine. Is the sole support for incompetent yet likable editor and has to struggle with everything from evil women with take-over plans and shallow fashonistas who do not appreciate her presence.

The existence of this series on my list puts a stain on my life long record of pure masculinity. However, it’s ironic view at the fashion industry and original take on comedy makes it a winner.

House M.D.

Bitter, “Sherlock Holmes-ish” doctor solves cases of diagnostic medicine by harassing his colleagues and playing unethical games. Hugh Laurie was better as Bertie Wooster and Edmund Blackadder than he is as House. Nevertheless, Gregory House’s dark, sarcastic world is fun.

Prison Break

Good guy trying to rescue less good, but ultimately innocent, brother from prison but incriminates himself by doing so in that he must involve a number of other inmates to make his plan succeed.. Interesting close-up on criminal minds and a disgusting ability to make me sympathize with some of the bad guys (not Theodore Bagwell).

Deadwood

Good guy and good guy’s sidekick comes to town to set up a hardware store but have to deal with a hardened set of locals during the gold rush of the mid-19th century.

Though politically incorrect, the scenes where Al Swearengen “enjoys” the company of his brothel employees while he recites his monologues are purely brilliant, and I believe, unique.

Rome

Middle class good guy and lower class slightly less good guy struggle to live their lives and become instrumental to the big events at the end of Ceasar’s reign. Splendid sets and costumes. Addictive.

Doc Martin

Socially blunt doctor from London withdraws to small village after developing an unfortunate disgust of blood. Arguably a disadvantage for a surgeon. Falls in and out of love with local school teacher. Fantastic interaction with strange local characters.

Northern Exposure

Recently graduated New York doctor arrives in Cicely, Alaska, to serve his four years of duty to the state of Alaska who paid for his education. Doesn’t like it but has to stay. Great cast of the most memorable, likable and weird characters you can imagine.

Twin Peaks

Typical US small town is awestruck by the murder of local girl Laura Palmer. Eccentric FBI agent arrives to solve case. The strangest pack of characters ever to be present in a TV-series. Highly likable, almost addictive, yet ultimately incomprehensible towards the end.

Monk

Multi-phobic ex-cop solves cases in true Poirot style – except Monk isn’t so disgustingly unlikable as Poirot. His failure to comply with society in almost every respect, renders him very likable indeed. Sidekick female assistants Sharona Flemming and later Natalie Teeger  in addition to Captain Leland Stottlemeyer and Lieutenant Randall Disher are also brilliant.

(Chorus)

Well, I- don’t want no short people,
don’t want no short people,
don’t want no short people ’round here!

…

Short people are just the same as you and I,
(A fool such as I!)
all men are brothers until the day they die.
(It’s a wonderful world!)

…

Short people got – nobody,
short people got – nobody,
short people got – nobody to love.
They got – little baby legs,
they stand so low,
you gotta – pick ’em up just to say hello.
They got – little cars that go beep, beep, beep
they got – little voices goin’ peep, peep, peep.
They got – grubby little fingers,
and dirty little minds,
they’re gonna get you – every time.

(Chorus)

Well, I – don’t want no short people,
don’t want no short people,
don’t want no short people ’round here!

• O’ brother where art thou: a modern take on the Odyssey
• Four weddings and a funeral: the hassles of getting married or not
• Austin Powers – International Man of Mystery: James Bond gone hippie
• Austin Powers – The Spy who Shagged me: Who does number two work for
• Austin Powers – Goldmember: Smoke and a pancake
• Monty Pythons’ The Quest for the Holy Grail: Watch the background as much as the foreground
• Monty Pythons’ Life of Brian: What life may have been like around Jesus’ time
• Hot Shots!: Top Gun rip-off
• Hot Shots! II: Rambo rip-off
• There’s something about Mary: carefull with the zipper
• The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy: always bring a towel

• Amish Paradise, parody of Coolios “Gangsta’s Paradise”
• Fat, parody of Michael Jackson’s “Bad”
• You don’t love me anymore, Weird Al original
• Living with a Hernia, parody of James Brown’s “Living in America”
• Good Enough for Now, Weird Al original, country style
• Couch Potato, parody of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”:
• Wanna B Ur Lovr, Weird Al original in the style of Prince and Beck
• Hardware Store, Weird Al original, not a parody
• A complicated song, parody of Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated”
• e-Bay, parody of The Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way”
• Bob – Weird Al original with lyrics consisting exclusively of palindromes, performed “Bob Dylan style”
• The saga begins, parody of Don McLean’s “American Pie”
• White and Nerdy, parody of Chamillionaire’s “Ridin”
• Virus Alert, Weird Al original in the style of Sparks
• Don’t download this song, Weird Al original, imitating the ’80s benefit songs

• Hearts in Atlantis
• Simon Birch
• Finding Neverland
• Million Dollar Baby
• Ciderhouse rules
• Sliding doors

Do not under any circumstances allow yourself to be tricked into seeing this film. Even the longest of life spans doesn’t allow for this utter and complete waste. I will borrow the words of Churchill: this is not a film to be put aside lightly, it should be thrown with great force.

To my deep regret I had never heard Vreid play live before, despite having known Sture for nigh on 10 years! Thus it was that we set off to the famed black metal stage Underworld in Camden, north London.

It was a great experience although certain elements of the audience caused a chill down my spine! Black metal artists are excellent performers and theatre people, it is the the Cathy Bates’es on the front row you need to look out for!

Also a distinctively unsympathetic door man with dreadlocks was reluctant to let me and colleague Gunnar Urtegaard into the concert in the first place due to our deviant and non-black appearances.

• Salo or the 120 days of Sodom
• Sweet Movie
• Caligula

I believe the world wouldn’t have been a worse place had these movies never been made.

Tractor driver chatting up woman from old Zetor-tractor at one of Zetor’s characteristic pub tables.

After visiting Helsinki’s tractor pub Zetor, named after the Czech tractor brand popular during the Cold War, my interest for Leningrad Cowboys came to life again after years of slumber. The pub, owned by Aki Kaurismaki, was decorated with Zetors fitted with a bar counter so you could sit on or around the tractors enjoying your beer. Almost like home.

My first meeting with Leningrad Cowboys was through Kaurismakis 1989 cult film, Leningrad Cowboys go America (which I didn’t see until 1996). I was immediately intrigued by the pack of strange characters, the lack of continuous dialog and their highly original and irregular interpretations of rock’n roll music!

As with so many things, the contrasts are what makes the band ingenious. The cooperation between the Cowboys and the Alexandrov Red Army choir see to it that contrast is in plenty! Together they do covers such as “California Girls”, “Happy together” and balalaika renditions of “Sweet Home Alabama”, “Knocking on Heavens door” and “Stairway to Heaven”.

Great stuff!

The following is a list of movies that I am happy to report that I haven’t seen but that nondesputedly are terrible rip-offs of movie titles adapted to suit the porn industry! I have made a small subset of the less offensive ones…

– Cliff Hanger = Cliff Banger
– Gone in 60 seconds = Done in 60 seconds
– Free Willy = Free My Willy
– Good Will Hunting = Good Will Humping
– I know what you did last summer = I Know What you did with the Plumber
– Men in Black = Men in Back
– Schindlers List = Schindler’s Fist
– Saving Private Ryan = Shaving Ryan’s Privates
– The three Musketeers = The Three Musket Queers
– You Have Mail = You Have Male