An alternative to minding your diet

vacuumcleaner.jpgI have come up a (theoretical) alternative to dieting. It should be fool-proof and builds on the fact that the pleasure of eating is mainly about substance and taste. Once food is swallowed it is purely of nutritional value.

The concept would be to intercept the food after it leaves the mouth but before it arrives where it is digested. Ideas to the same effect, such as vomiting after eating is uncomfortable and impractical. The method I propose however, would be plug-and-play.

The method requires slight customization of the human organism, which is quite doable. I envisage a discrete, neutral looking socket mounted on a persons throat. To this socket it is possible to connect a suction device, in principle much like a vacuum cleaner only silent and small. The mechanism, when powered on, will be activated once the person swallows food and will remove all matter before it reaches the stomach. This way substances like sugar, salt, fat and their relatives will never be metabolized.

Another alternative to minding your diet, the one I am currently pursuing, is simply not to. This does however have the side effect that I eat a lot.