You may be surprised to read this letter as we haven’t formally been introduced to oneanother. However, as you know we did meet briefly at Dublin Airport Sunday, 13th of May 2007. I, a law abiding citizen and amateur photographer, was there with my camera. You, a bastard, were there making an exhibit of your liberal attitude towards criminal law. I left without my camera, you, sadly, did not!
I write this letter to express my worst wishes for your future. In fact, I curse you and hope you will be badly injured in a one-in-a-million exploding-camera-accident and choke on the lens until you turn an unhealthy shade of blue. If this scenario doesn’t sound too pleasant I would alternatively settle for getting the camera back. How about you give it to me eh?
Oh, and in the not entirely unlikely event that you acquired more than one camera in this manner on that date, mine is a Canon EOS 350D with a SIGMA 18-125mm lens neatly tucked away in forest-green Lowepro camera bag.
With absolutely no regards